MCESaint

I drop in and out of here very sporadically, but I needed to share this.

Bottom line is DD turned 17 not long ago and, after a run in with mom over mom's drinking, packed up and moved out. In our state, 17 year olds can move out and there isn't much a parent can do about it (though, oddly, you're still legally responsible for them).

I knew this might be coming - I'd even discussed some alternative living arrangements before all this with DD - some of her thoughts on the matter didn't sit well with me . . . and she wasn't thrilled with my options. So we never came to a conclusion that worked for both of us.

I wasn't particularly happy about the initial destination DD chose when she just up and left (I had been out of town on business) - I couldn't very well blame her for leaving though - and, after a few days, DD ended up at grandparent's house (AW's parents), she's still in school (and, miraculously, doing well grade wise).

It may not be the best of all possible worlds for her - Father in Law is a big alky - but the issues/dynamic are all different there for her.

I'd leave too, but for the youngest child (only 3 y.o.) . . . and that frustrates DD. She felt like *she* had to be the protector of her brother, felt that mom put him at risk (drinking and driving), and would get upset because (as she saw it) I did nothing (e.g., move out, take kids). It's easy to see the answer when you're 17, don't have the bills to pay, health insurance, etc. to keep yourself and the kids heads above water.

We talk and stay in touch and, I feel, have a good relationship still despite all of the above.

DD tells mom that she's not coming home unless and until she's been sober for a long time.

Her feelings - and she's right to have them - is that mom is choosing booze over having a relationship with her.

Anyway - its impossible to discuss these things with co-workers and even close friends.

I'm saddened that I don't get to see my daughter every day, but I'm proud of the young woman she's become and becoming.