Originally Posted by
Amnesiac 
Might have something to do with sexuality, honestly, that I don't feel comfortable talking to anyone. Quick overview: I'm a male who is sexual attracted to women, and I have been as long as I can remember. I've had a few girlfriends and was very sexual active with all of them, but people have always accused me or labeled me gay, for whatever it is type of persona. I have. And I hate almost the entire world for it, and I absolutely detest myself for it and the fact that that's always the way it's been, and likely always will be.
I'm somewhat anonymous here but still don't like talking about it. I have seen a therapist but while I kind of brought that sort of thing up with him, I didn't feel like I was getting much out of it.
So, you’re a straight guy who seems gay to some people. But you’ve had girlfriends; you’ve had relationships, sounds like the women you were with were not put off by how you appear to the world, they were with you because they liked you and were attracted to you, otherwise they wouldn’t bother. Maybe you’ve had some interaction lately that made you feel down about yourself...but the truth is that you are unique like we all are, and you are deserving of love and respect. It may feel like everything to you but the truth is that we can’t concern ourselves with what people think of us. It’s too beyond our control. It causes us to try to be who we are not instead of being true to ourselves. I think alcohol makes it really hard to be authentic and self loving. And the healing process after quitting is esdifficult sometimes, especially when it comes to love and relationships whether we are attached or not.
Maybe set it all aside for awhile, I know the pursuit of affection is hard to set aside...but if it’s causing you pain, spend some time building yourself up....keep a journal, start an exercise program, pursue your interests and passions. Take some time to feel better about you, the more you develop yourself, the less you will care what others believe about your sexuality.