GgJoel - Heartbreak is the absolute worst and having alcoholism tangled in the mix just makes it even worse. I think a lot of us hear struggle with the dreams of a life that will go unrealized because of our loved ones addiction, I know I do. I've gone back and forth being mad at my STBXAH and the alcohol but the truth is I can't separate them or at least I shouldn't.
I am not sure which thread I read this today but I think it applies to your situation so if it was earlier on this thread and you've already ready it, I apologize in advance:
"When God takes something from your grasp, he's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better."
If you don't mind, I'd like to gently recommend that you start channeling some of your energy away from trying to understand another person who has treated you badly and who treats themselves badly by abusing alcohol and perhaps start focusing your energy on YOU. Do something good for yourself and hopefully little by little you'll get to where you're meant to go FROM here.
Best of luck to you!