people change, Joel......people change their minds, change who they seem to be, where they live, what they do, who they are with.
i know you had a lot of hopes and dreams INVESTED in this relationship, and your dreams relied heavily on HER being and acting and doing certain things. in the midst of it all, her addiction reared its ugly head. it had perhaps been simmering for a long time, she may have hidden it well, you may just not have been paying attention. but there it is......during what was for you the 'happiest times in your life' with all the promises and dreams, she was drinking more and more and more. and it wasn't out of sheer JOY that she did so.
she has stuff. so do you. so do i. and FOR HER, her path took her THAT way, while yours took you THIS way. i am not trying to make light, but ACCEPTANCE of that basic notion will go a long way. you can stop looking under EVERY rock. analyzing every THING.
i was with my last husband for a lotta years, 14, and then i bailed. there was NOTHING wrong with him.....he was, IS, a perfectly fine man. i just didn't belong with him anymore. my path went THAT way.....it was just time for me to go. i did it as swiftly and painlessly as possible. and that was that.