My current feelings right now: I am standing along side of a run away train. This train has no intention of stopping. In fact, it seems like the train (her) is enjoying the ride and is getting thrills out of it.
Reminds me of the song by Soul Asylum – Runaway Train…………..bought a ticket for a runaway train. Like a madman laughin at the rain. Little out of touch, little insane……just easier then dealing with the pain.
and I cannot even talk it through (partly my choice not to answer her, assuming she would even talk about it).
It appears to me that you are analyzing her and this relationship through a filter of logic and what should be normal but we cannot expect an active A to use logic or normal. There is no talking anything out with them, you coud never possible get any real answers or truths.