Old 10-22-2017, 02:20 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
tomsteve
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by iamme31 View Post
Hopefully, it isn't as scary as I have made it out to be in my mind ... I envision myself sobbing in the doctors office ...

I will keep everyone updated on the outcome ...
aint nothing wrong with crying, iamme.
there was 2 days between my last drunk and first AA meeting. in between i did a LOT of crying- because it was the very first time in my life i was lookin at my past without trying to stuff it. it was the first time i was looking at the wreckage i had caused, the people i had hurt, and the wreck i had made of my life.
when i finally got the courage to go to that first meeting, it took every ounce of energy i had to not walk in balling.
then it was my turn to share. all i could say was,"im tom im an alcoholic and i cant take it any more."
and cried the rest of the meeting. i didnt have to say anything more- those people knew exactly what i meant and where i was.
i did a lot of crying for some time after that- still in an alcoholic fog and still hating myself. then one day a man said to me,'quit kikin yourself in the ass. youre not a bad man, just a sick one and there is a solution."
it was shortly after that that the fog started lifting, i was starting to really hear what was said at meeting AND understanding what i was reading in the big book.
and shortly after that i decided i wanted what the program had to offer and was willing to work for it.

life has taken on new meaning and been pretty darn good.
through the years ive had times where ive cried at meetings AND outside of meeting.
and thats ok.
because im human.
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