Welcome iamme - it's great to have you with us.
It was a huge relief to me when I found SR. I could finally be honest about my situation & what I'd been going through. No one else in my life could possibly understand the way my friends here did. I hope you'll find it helpful to talk things over with us.
Tapering isn't recommended - but I did it & it worked out for me - I had to quit or die. I decided to try it, only because I wasn't able to get to a doctor at that time. Supervised withdrawal is the only safe way.
I was drinking all day too - as you said, it's no longer fun or relaxing when we're dependent on it. I'm glad you are taking a look at what it's doing to your life. You can get free of it . I hope you'll keep reading and posting here. We are with you.