Originally Posted by
Akasha 
I have been to one N.A. meeting but walked out and did hits harder than a baseball bat could. This is so freaking hard-core for me. Rehab is out of the question. Cannot let anyone in my life find out that I habe fallen again after all this time. My sobriety is mine alone. This site has helped me more than I though it would and I do feel less alone now. But in a non virtual sense... I remain alone!
No offense man, but it sounds like you are choosing to be alone in your struggle. I don't know much about your situation, and maybe you have no choice but to deal with this by yourself, but in most cases, that's just not the case. You say rehab is out of the question, and for whatever reason, you've chosen to not involve others in your struggle to get sober.
BTW, and in my opinion, your sobriety is probably not only yours to deal with. Unless you live alone in a cabin at the top of a mountain or something like that, your addiction is affecting others, and I'll bet some of those people would love to help you, cause it helps them too.
Iv'e seen many people here on SR that say no I can't do that, or no, that wouldn't work and they disappear from SR. Hopefully, they found something that works for them but it definitely makes things harder when someone restricts their choices and keeps them stuck in a little box with few ways out. There's always reasons to stay in that box man. SR is a good starting point. Have a great evening!! John