Originally Posted by Meraviglioso

*high five* alright now! That's how you do this, deleting the back up numbers is a great start. You are going to let that final number go, I know it. We are with you until that point and after, don't forget that.
I'm going to point out the obvious here, that NA is completely anonymous. I think people generally take that pretty seriously. You can also look into meetings in another town if you feel that support would be beneficial to you. But if not, great that you are willing to at least google about addiction centres.
Good to know there si food around. I hear you on not having any appetite. After my last relapse I could not eat for more than a week. But I knew how crucial it was to getting through it so I forced myself to eat something every day. For a week I managed only 1 banana and 1 small yogurt a day. And even just that little amount i had to spread out over the day. I would just force myself to take one bite at regular intervals. You gotta do it. And tons of water.
I am glad to hear your last exam went well despite you being high. You are a great, very clear writer, I imagine you can really shine when clean and sober. Allow yourself that chance. Exams and studying can be brutal- the stress, the work, all of it. But keep working on that, you need something positive to work towards.
So scratch the changing your bed sheets if your bedroom is a danger area right now. No harm in crashing on the couch. Make it a decent set up though. Get a pillow and a blanket. When you are ready you can do something about transforming your bedroom into a safer place for you. Good call on thinking that through though. Take it a step further, what else could be potential danger areas/issues for you and what can you do to avoid them right now? Is there anything you should throw out? Think through things like music and tv too, sometimes those can be big triggers. Don't listen to or watch anything that takes you to that dangerous mindset.

Seriously though, look at the progress you have already made. Come on, be proud of yourself for that. You are here, you are posting, you are thinking this through, you have already done something huge in deleting some of those numbers, you are using your head to think through things like not going to your bedroom.. you are legit doing this. We are here every step of the way.