Originally Posted by
mayabee 
Thank you, Akasha. When I first learned that my son was using, I thought it would just be a matter of deciding to stop, stopping, and never looking back. I truly didn't understand. I think leaving a relationship - with a person or a substance - can involve a period of mourning and emptiness, even if the relationship/substance was ultimately destructive. I think my son is going through some of that. He is currently at the stage of wanting to want to stop - he's not quite sure if he really wants to, but he wants to want to because he knows he needs to. Does that make sense? Obviously, since he's my son, I wish him the best in his journey. I wish that for you too. I don't want to minimize the challenge you're facing, but have faith in yourself and trust that you can do this.
If I'm very honest. The only thing that worked for me the last time (just over 6 years ago) was tough love. My parents sent me away for a year to a hard-core rehab, not like these 3 or 6 weeks places. It was hard-core. I was isolated and very closely watched. I didn't want to stop for me. I wanted to stop hurting my parents. It broke their hearts watching me kill myself. I het that feeling of wanting to stop but also not wanting to stop your son is in a very tough spot which also puts you in a very tough spot. I have now fallen for the same stupid mistakes after years of sobriety and healthy living. Whatever the case with your son or with me, addiction cannot be dealt with alone. We are not brave enough to face the beast head on. Support him like these people are supporting me but do not baby him. Sometimes we need to hear the 'get real' stuur in order to make a change.