I have no direct experience with meth, but my son has been in the recovery/relapse cycle (he's currently using but he has had an intake interview for a program and has been going to a few meetings). Anyway, while I am on the outside looking in, I see how conflicted he is - part of him wants to quit, part of him is afraid of the depression and exhaustion that follows. I witness his struggles and realize that it's not easy.
I hope this won't seem presumptuous on my part since I haven't walked in your shoes, but wondered if you are familiar with this website?
https://www.quittingcrystalmeth.com/the-5-stages-of-meth-recovery/
The guy's blog is also very good- he is very upfront about relapses and the challenges he's faced.