If you're like I was.... "High Functioning" is a giant delusion.
I look back at all the financial ruin, the time wasted being wasted, the dropped responsibilities, the DUIs, the divorces, the losses and the misery of my "High Functioning" days and wonder how in the hell I ever managed to consider it even 'functional'.
I hope you're able to embrace a recovery program and get clean and sober NOW.