waxfruit, put down the drink. It's just going to make everything worse.
I am so sorry about your friend's suicide...there are no words to make that better, but don't let his/her tragic end be a reason to hurt yourself.
Your mom? I won't even go there.
Please just pour out whatever alcohol you have left and drink some water, get something to eat and go to bed. Lock your door and leave a radio on.
I'm so sorry. You're not alone and we care about you.