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Old 10-19-2017, 06:25 PM
  # 30 (permalink)  
ed2715
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 28
Hi, Caprice. I wanted to write and say good luck to you. I also do not want to “count days” of sobriety. I want sobriety to be a natural outcome of the days I do remain sober that leads to health, contentment, and wellbeing.

I became anorexic at age eighteen and then quickly turned to bulimia and alcohol. I used food and alcohol in a negative way for more than a decade before I finally settled on alcohol as my solution-in-chief.

I am not equating your situation with mine. For me, things (an inner tension) start to build up after a period of time of not drinking. I allow myself to drink, thus relieving the tension. I say to myself that it is a small blip in the general forward direction toward total sobriety, and I will move forward from that point. After all, relapse is common when one is attempting to get sober, is it not?

But in my heart of hearts, I know that I have not come up with a good plan for staying sober, have not dealt successfully with the underlying causes of my drinking, and I am making excuses for my relapses. For me, it has occurred too many times to accept my own excuses. I hope you will be able to get to another 41 days and more, but who is counting, right?

I wish you all the best.
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