Originally Posted by Caprice6

Hi,
Thanks all and GottaLife, I whole heartedly agree and see it that way too.
Hi RAL, sorry to have let you guts from September down. Niw i don't feel i belong on that bus and don't ceel like jumping in in October.
Day 5, things are well. Cruising along despite a "fall" "slip" "relapse." the latter for me would be in my case if i had merely continued, or then again if i had to go through all that crap again, experience withdrawal (as was always the case) that's what I'd coin a relapse but to each their own.
I don't know what to call it or classify it under but it hasn't disturbed my past progress and isn't disturbing it in the present. It was a very conscious decision, thought out and planned even after the fact. So far, so good in that it was just one night and remained. Sure in the evenings my AV kicks in but i know it's telling me BS because the frequency would gradually increase. I tried to do and think i could handle evenings only, nope. Tried and tested those waters. So i knew this time my resolve would stick, at least for another good stretch (40 days) and that's good enough for me. Maybe it will be 80 days maybe forever but right now past 40 is my mark and I'm sorry if that doesn't suit everyone, but it's encouraging to me and i know I can do it and then just keep pushing it in case i may topple over, and pick myself right up again and don't drown.
Baby steps, acceptance, forgiveness, perspective, honesty and persistance give me strength.
Best wishes to all!