Goodbyeevan,
Very interesting topic and I’ll use this as an opportunity to summarize what I have learned since I joined the site a few weeks ago. This may be completely unorganized, as I’m typing as I think, but here we go:
First off, it turns out that many people coming to this site face two problems, not one: As soon as they put down the bottle, they continue to feel bad. For some this may have more serious reasons, e.g. depression or anxiety, for others it is a more general malaise, aka the quest for the purpose of life. It seems that you and I fall into the latter category - once we’re sober, we’re like ‘and now what?’.
Secondly, it is truly different strokes for different folks, as they say, and people respond to different kinds of treatment (and my apologies to everyone who reads this and is offended - I really don’t mean to offend anybody, this is really an attempt to organize my thinking): Some people need to be pushed and that’s what ‘classical’ AA can do. The ‘Big Book’ is written in an archaic language like it was written 2000 years ago and it works for people who like discipline and authority. Stuff like ‘if thou ever drinkest again YOU WILL DIE!!!!!’ is not for everyone, but it has its fan base. Now what AA has truly understood is that it’s not enough to just stop drinking, no, you’ll also have to address the thorny issue of having to work on yourself, aka the 12 steps.
Other people like to be pulled by mean of softer methods: Psychotherapy, CBT, AVRT, Rational Recovery, you name it.
So I think job #2 (after staying f€£]¥[!!ing sober, which will always be job #1) is to figure out which approach works for you and give it a go. Personally I like Buddhism and stuff like ‘Power of Now’ from Tolle, but that’s just me.
Somebody on SR also turned me on to ‘Stoic Week 2018’ (I forgot who, but a big shoutout!). It actually takes place this week, and coincidentally deals with the question ‘how do we lead a happy and fulfilling life?’, just google it.
So there is work to do. Let me know if you’re interested and I can talk to you about some of the stuff I’ve tried and books I’ve read. For example (and as you can see, lol), posting here on SR has definitely become one of my therapeutic activities!