Obladi: Thank you! Intellectually, I know I want to do this, but you're right -- it's my *addiction* saying I don't have the willpower. I hate being addicted, but my brain chemistry is such that alcohol and I will always be enemies, not friends. Sobriety is a marathon, not a sprint, right? If I think of it like that, it seems a bit easier. I remember when 13 miles seemed like a crazy distance to run, and now I could do that in my sleep.
My therapist had me make a list of sober fun activities as well, but they're all hardcore things you have to be sober to endure -- and then there's a nice cold drink at the finish line. I guess I need to replace the reward of a drink with something else and re-train my brain. Maybe a delicious ice cream sundae (although I'm an ice cream addict, too...)
Anyway, thanks again for the wisdom. I need to...JUST DO IT. Joining the forums here is a good, gradual step.
Originally Posted by
Obladi 
I heard a woman mention the other day that her therapist had her write a long list of things she could do when restless. Not big deal things, but stuff like color, play solitaire, clean out a drawer. She says she's checking things off the list and having fun with it. To me, having a schedule is also very valuable. Even if I don't do what's on the schedule, I do something different that is NOT what I was doing while drinking.
I don't think you need more "willpower" and would like to offer that "I don't understand why I can't do this" is your
addiction Not Wanting to do this. You most certainly can stay stopped - you've already done it many times.
This is a gift from the universe - recognizing that you must stop before you are physically dependent. You run; think of this as a marathon and get going.
O