Originally Posted by
Maudcat 
You can do this.
You already have, so I know you can.
Good luck and good thoughts.
When I accepted, truly and openheartedly, that I could not drink like other people and that my only way forward was abstinence, my life got infinitely easier.
Acceptance is key.
Thanks so much for the encouragement! My problem is that I'm stubborn and like to be in control, so the concept of "powerlessness" and that I "can't" do what other people can is tough for me. I keep trying to find a solution (like my pretend-moderate drinking) that doesn't make me feel like I'm weak. I know that abstinence is my only way, but I'm fighting against acceptance with all my heart and soul.
I've managed to be a functioning alcoholic for the most part, and I don't usually drink to the point of stumbling-drunkenness, but not having a true rock bottom is maybe what's keeping me in limbo. I'm slipping through by the skin of my teeth. Yet I am still a slave, because alcohol is always on my mind. This is such an insidious disease. I need more willpower.
