Hey, guys!
This is only my second post in two years because, though I've been lurking on and off for much longer, my initial cry for help was merely a half-assed attempt at sobriety (I realize in hindsight).
I made it to three months sober. I attended a few AA meetings, tapered a bit and then quit cold turkey, was diligent with therapy, and when I hit that 3-month mark -- just about 90 days! -- I said to myself, "Okay, I reset my body; now I'm good to drink moderately."
It started innocently enough; my liver functions and other lab results were stellar, and one glass of wine was enough to give me a pleasant buzz. But over the course of several months, well, that "one or two glasses of wine with dinner" crept up to "a shot of whiskey during the 3 p.m. blood-sugar crash" followed by "eh, a dash of Kahlua in my 8 a.m. coffee."
So here we go again. Luckily, this time, I'm recognizing I have a problem with alcohol BEFORE I have to deal with physical withdrawal symptoms. I can tell myself, "This is it" and go days without a drop, no shakes, no headaches, no nausea; I feel fine. But after each 4-to-5-day sobriety stint, I give in to a mental craving. Sometimes it's stress, and sometimes it's boredom. Sometimes it's just habit. Whatever it is, even though my body hasn't yet reached a state of physical dependence, I can't find the willpower to defeat the psychological craving.
I did a search of the forum on "cravings" and it seems like when these end, and whether they even end at all, is highly individual. Still, for those of you who have seen a significant and meaningful reduction in cravings after a period of sobriety, how long does it take and what is your trick when all you can think about is a drink? It's driving me crazy. I've never once tried a cigarette; experimented with marijuana in college but lost interest quickly; have taken narcotics as prescribed for dental procedures but not become addicted -- yet alcohol is the one substance I can definitely admit has deprived me of my power.
Someone please tell me that if I can grin and bear it through a week or two of mental cravings, it'll be easier from that point on...
--A