Bluemilk -
Sorry that you lost your friend.
Your insight that you drank b/c you didn't know what else to do resonated with my recovery. I was finally successful when I focused on learning what I really needed/what to do instead of drinking, instead of just focusing on avoiding drinking.
I was a bit slower than you in realizing that. It took me years until I learned that lesson...
Do you have a grief support group/friends to talk to about your loss?
Good luck!