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Old 10-17-2017, 07:03 PM
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pinkpomelo
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Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 3
Unhappy It's over and I'm so alone

My husband and I have been married over 20years. We have 4 kids, 3 of which are grown and out of the house. Well, 2 are in college, so not completely out. Anyway, AH started drinking heavily around 12 years ago. It started when his best friend was going through a horrible divorce. I called that period of time his rock star years cuz they both acted like they were rock stars. Idiots. He got a DUI and stopped for a year or 2.

Of course started back up again and about 3 years ago got pulled over on the way home from a baseball tournament with my DS in the car. 10 pm I get a call from AH saying I need to pick him up now. WTF? He really had no idea where he was. He just told me the town name and vague directions. I finally find him. The cop tells me he's doing him a huge favor. No ****, I told him please arrest him. I'll take my son. Nope, small ass town doesn't have a jail and I'm assuming the cop didn't want the extra work. I was pissed. I needed AH to realize how messed up he was. I'm pretty sure a parent from baseball called police. I never said anything. I was too embarrassed. He continued to drink. No more driving DS.

So, a year ago a job transfer comes up. At this point he's only drinking on the weekends. Rarely during the week. He says this move will be a fresh start. Less stress from his job now, just a great move all around. So we move. 900 miles away from our older 3 kids and grandkids. We bring his mom with because I like her, yeah, I know. lol

He was here 2 months before we got here. I figured he was drinking but not like he really was. He drinks every night. Not just a few beers. Probably a 12 pack. I call him out on it and he says he'll stop. Nope. He leaves for work around 6am and doesn't get home until anywhere between 8-10. Every night. Drunk. So I start looking at receipts. He's shopping! He's buying so much crap we don't need. Clothes for himself, random food and fast food for himself. He's in the neighborhood shopping and drinking. And driving. I'm just waiting for the phone call from jail. He's also missed 3 days for work from drinking. It doesn't seem like a lot but that's more then he's missed in 20 years of working.

I first thought he was having an affair. I'm 98% sure he's not. He's just too drunk when he comes home. There's other more personal reasons I don't think he's cheating.

He has some major health issues due to his drinking. He's over weight, high blood pressure, his liver numbers were elevated, all his blood work came back jacked up. He snores so bad I'm sure the neighbors can hear. He regularly falls asleep while eating. I'm terrified he'll choke and die in his sleep.

One of our older kids was here for the week. Saturday DS had baseball so AH took him. He ended up dropping DS off at the school to play football around noon, after baseball. Around 1 DS calls me asking where I am cuz he's locked out of the house. WTF?! Where's AH? Can't find him. Not answering my calls or texts. I had to leave where I was to let DS in. By the time I got home AH was there. DRUNK! It was 1:15!!! I have no idea if he started drinking at baseball or what. I lost my ****. I screamed at him and told him I hated him and I was done. I haven't said a word to him since then.

I told him today I'm looking for a lawyer. His response, ok, im finally happy with my job and I'm not changing. Wtf? I text back and say you do realize this has nothing to do with your job? No response.

I just don't know what to do. Im finally working. Part time but I can get full time hours. I make enough here to support myself. I don't want to move back home. I mean, all my friends and my older kids are there but I made **** back there.

I have no friends here. I have no idea if I should leave and find an apartment for DS and I or if I should stay in the house. We rent, if that makes a difference. I'm not even sure I could file for divorce in this state. We've been here since January.

I don't want a divorce. I want my husband back. He just wants to drink. His mom knows he's drinking. I'm not sure if she realizes it's as bad as it is though. I don't want to discuss it with her. Alcoholism runs in his family and she has very strong feelings towards it.

I just don't know what to do.
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