So I was doing well and made it to 21 days without a drink. I got through the withdrawal and had levelled out; I was feeling good.
Then I had some news that a friend of mine had been shot dead. I met up with a mutual friend for a bit of mutual support and I drank. We had 2 beers then I went home. I felt bad I'd broken my 21 days for the sake of a beer but meh, it was only a couple. I didn't get drunk.
Then I woke up at 11Am the following day still pissed and confused. I stumbled around my flat hunting for my phone to make an excuse as to why I wasn't at work or hadn't let anyone know in the first 2 hours I was meant to be there and discovered an empty bottle of whiskey in the kitchen. I genuinely have no recollection of buying or drinking the whiskey but I didn't end up in that state from just 2 beers.
This sort of total loss of control is why I decided to stop. I'm still at a bit of a loss as to why I even had that first beer; I guess it's just what I'm so used to doing in those situations not that I've known anyone else to get gunned down (being from the UK that's pretty rare). Still; it's been a lesson to learn from. I'm now on day 2 again and going past day 21 this time. 21 days sober is better than I've done in years; I think I just need to find some ways to cope with bad life events that don't involve drinking and I can chalk this one up to an important lesson. I think I need to start coming clean with people in real life and admitting I can't drink because I have a problem.
So it sucks I messed up but it's not stopping me from stopping
just reaffirmed why I need to.