In your first post of this thread, you said this:
There was one issue...she became an alcoholic about 1 1/2 years before this, and according to her long time friends, the issue showed itself long ago.
You go on to detail her career and life pretty much crashing and burning.
And now, in your most recent post, you say this:
Originally Posted by
GoodguyJoel 
I am not ignoring what you are all saying, I just go back and forth in so many directions...but is it really that simple? Addiction makes people do things they wouldn't otherwise do?
GGJ, this may be hard to hear, but try to listen:
You do not even know who she is w/o her addiction. It sounds as if she has had a problem the whole time you've known her. How could you possibly know what she "wouldn't otherwise do"? You've never
known the non-addicted her.
She is who she is showing up as, not as what you imagine her potential to be. I'm sure she has good aspects, but to imagine that the good parts are "the real her" and the bad parts are "the addiction" isn't accurate. They are
both parts of her, and are equally real.
There is no guarantee, even IF she grabbed hold of recovery w/both hands and worked it for all she's worth, that she'd turn out to be the person you have convinced yourself she is. I think virtually all of us here have thought "oh, if only he/she stopped drinking, life would be great--it's the
alcohol that makes him/her mean/selfish/crude/lazy/etc.!" I certainly thought this way. Check out threads by thousandwords and hearthealth, among many others, for more on how that often works out...
You may find the 2-part article below sheds some light on things:
https://www.cottonwooddetucson.com/p...ner-112011.pdf https://www.cottonwooddetucson.com/p...ner-112011.pdf