Hi, and welcome!
For many years I tried to 'just cut back' or 'get back to where I was and have fun'.
It never worked for me - at least not for very long. I did manage to fool myself for many periods into a semblance of 'success'. Those periods always came to a crashing end in some tremendous binge or other.
In the end, I finally decided my bottom was to be my bottom before the bottom got any further down.
I can't offer you any advice on 'cutting back' or 'moderation' or getting to a place where you can consistently just have one or two for social lubricant or whatever - because despite many ways of trying myself, I was never successful.
If you'd like experience around building a new, better-than-ever, awesome life of sobriety - there I may be able to offer you some useful input.
