Joel
I want to share a revelation I had one day after a long bitter difficult road to and after a breakup.
I realised that if I really loved my ex in the sense of what love is meant to be then I would be happy for him regardless of who he was with -if in a relationship that made him truly happy.
If I wanted to control my ex then I would only want him to be happy with me -
regardless of is he was happy or not or loved me or not (genuinely inside)
Love vs control.
Control in my case was to contour the anxiety I experienced all the time. You are with me therefore I am okay. You are not with me I am not okay.
Doesn't sound like love does it. Sounds like entrapment and no one wants to be trapped. Its a bitter pill to swallow for the ego the possibility that your loved one could be just as happy with the next person.
Are we meant to just have one single person in the whole world to fit us? Just one?