Goodguy...My friend, you never really knew her. (an alcoholic, who is using, doesn't even know themselves). You saw only the parts that she showed you, or the parts that you wanted to see.....the parts that fit in with your plans and dreams.
Based on what you share...I can practically guarantee that she brought a lifetime of issues with her...most likely from her early years.....(that is where most all of our serious issues begin, in one way or another).......
Even if she ever does decide to seriously work on herself, it will take years...and, you can't help her with that....
Who knows what your issues are? How much insight into our own self do you have.....Please don't think I am just trying to be snarky, here....because those are question that each and every one of us would do well to ask ourselves.....
It is a great irony, I think that, it is in the times of crisis or great turmoil and pain. that, we gain the greatest insight, and the most personal progress and development can be made. lol...I think of it as knowledge by fire...but, I can tell you from experience, that those are the lessons that we never forget....
by human nature, I am pretty sure that you are not so concerned about personal insight or philosophical riffs....you just, probably, want her back, and are looking for any shred of hope that this is going to happen....
Aah, I know it well...lol...
I feel obligated to tell you that you are going to be grieving for a while....it will probably take you a year, or so, to begin to look forward, more than backward...
if you don't keep up reinvesting...
But, you will heal, in increments, over enough time....and the sun will come out again....Life is always pushing forward....and change is always in motion....