Hello and welcome. I would suggest you do lots of reading on the sites. I see one common thread to what you have said. She is an addict, and you expect her to be reasonable. She is unresponsible and selfish. Such is addiction. She blames everyone else. Such is addiction. She is hurting you, such is addiction.
I know you care for the person you think she could be, but that is not who she is. She is an addict with huge debt, no responsibility, cannot even hold down a job. She has cheated on you, and left you for a man who she hopes she can get to his money. I ask, is this really a person you should be with.
I encourage you to attend Alanon or Celebrate Recovery, or get a therapist, or both. You deserve better than this. This is who she is. Work on yourself so you can see through this and see that you deserve so much more.
I am sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here.