Originally Posted by
Downthepath 
Hi JuliaClaire. I can relate completely to you concerns about your relationship. I have been married for 14 years and have 4 children with my beautiful French wife. The problem is that we (I) have rarely been sober in that time - apart from when she was pregnant with our kids. I'm really worried that she is getting bored with the whole sobriety thing. She has been really supportive and has barely drank at all since I have been sober - but sometimes I get the feeling that she is willing me to have a glass of wine with her. It really did play a big part in our relationship and we have had lots of fun times whilst drinking. There hasn't really been a downside either. I am quite a happy drunk, so it rarely came between us. She doesn't really understand that it is a compulsion for me and that my relationship with alcohol has changed dramatically in recent years, because it isn't a problem for her at all.
If it was undermining our relationship, I'm pretty sure I would drink again and just try to control it. Time will tell.
Vman, I love the firewood thing. We are planning to retire in France. The father in law has cut wood as long as I have known him. It is such a wholesome way to heat the house. I intend to do it when we eventually live there full time.
Thanks for the warm welcome, all.
Thanks everyone for welcoming me too and for being here. This thread is awesome. It's really made this easier for me, coming on here and seeing all of the bright, clear-headed sober people at all stages. It helps enormously to read from those doing well who are happy and enjoying life (proves to me there's a good life after booze, and more to look forward to). And it's also great to see all of the posts from those who are struggling- I'm not alone.
Congratulations on five years! And happy fall! I really love this time of year.
Downthepath, thanks for your response! It feels good to know I'm not alone. Yes, we never fought, just enjoyed each other enormously while drinking. Also concerned we'll have a hard time finding the fun things to do sober. He's pretty supportive so far though. We are actually getting "civil union-ed" next week. It's not that big of a deal, I just want him to have health insurance. I think he'll have to cut back on his drinking if it's going to work, which I would hate to be the reason for- I don't think it would be sustainable and he might resent me for it. If he cut back or quit, he should do it for him.
Anyway, hope everyone is enjoying their weekend! I'm glad you guys are here. I'm going to have a cup of coffee, go for a walk on this crisp October day, then to a yoga class.