My codependency started with my alcoholic mother, but I didn't really understand what that meant until I was 32 and my first (no alcoholism involved) marriage imploded due to my complete lack of self-esteem (which is how my codependency presented). Then, after three years of being on my own and building up a healthy love and respect for myself outside of romantic relationships, I started dating an alcoholic . The relationship only lasted ten months, and in retrospect, it's clear that I only got involved with him because I was trying to re-create the circumstances of my childhood and prove to myself, once and for all, that I really didn't have any control of his (or my mother's) alcoholism. I ended the relationship once I truly understood that and never looked back. Shortly thereafter, I met my current husband, and our relationship is the healthiest I've ever had. We've been together ten years, married for seven, and going strong.
I still occasionally have codependent flare-ups but they mostly revolve around work relationships, and that gets better all the time.
I still battle