People in my meeting are dealing with non recovering alcoholics and it doesn’t apply to me anymore.
Alcoholism is life long, and relapse is prevalent so it always applies.
I think first impressions of al-anon are dependent on what the expectations are. If we go into al-anon with the thinking that we will learn how to better help them, how to better understand them and how to better support them in their recovery……………..we are not going to have a positive experience.
Codependency has a funny way of surfacing where we don’t see some of the things we do as un-healthy.
We tend to ignore red flags in early dating, believing that over time things will get better and the person we think we love will become the person we know they can be.
You are dating someone who has a known drinking problem, healthy thinking people see that as a big red flag.
You are asking how to better understand his recovery where healthy thinking people wouldn’t be asking they would be acting by stepping away from the relationship by ending it and allowing him room to either grow as a non-drinking person or crash again all on his own without them becoming part of the wreck.
You are having anxiety and insecurities when he does not reply to you right away, that is classic un-healthy insecure codependent behaviors.
This is what al-anon is all about, you fixing your issues so that you can have healthy relationships.