Theguy......I suggestthat you read the book "Co-dependent No More".....it is practically a "bible" around here....
You can get it at the library or through amazon.com. Used volumes are pretty cheap......
I think that this shows how much your life has been wrapped up in your wife's illnesses....
Keep reading the articles in the link that I gave you in your other thread, and going to alanon meetings. This has been going on for a long time, in order for you to get to this state of things.....