Hi bob - I understand you want support but it kinda sounds like you're making your wife's unconditional support and understanding a condition of you staying sober?
That's not going to help either of you.
My loved ones were pretty pissed at me by the end of my drinking - and with good reason.
She may be hurting too. She may not be in a headplace where her first thought is to help you out.
SR exists so that people like you and me have support - even when other support in your life may not be forthcoming right now.
D