A New Bottom
I messed up and used. But this time, something worse happened. I used a lot more cocaine than usual and I started getting chest pains. Things just felt all weird inside of my chest. Then my lungs felt funny and started aching. I am not having trouble breathing or horrible symptoms. My body just feels really strange now because it is like something is going on in there. If I overdosed, something worse probably would have happened. If my symptoms get worse, or if I have trouble breathing, I will have someone take me to the ER. I thought that I was dying! I said, "no, I don't want to die this way!" I am scared to death. I don't know what is going on with my body.
On top of this, I just found out that the roof of my mouth has deterioration due to cocaine abuse. All of those temporary fun times lead me to a lifetime of struggles. I wish I never touched that drug. I'm 24, and my body is probably similar to someone 2 or 3 times that age. I want recovery! I want my life! I don't want to die this way. I think I saw that I could die and it scared me so much.
I deserve so much more out of life than to be in the grips of addiction.
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