I want a drink. Bad. I want to beat this thing, too. I thought having a day off work would make it easier to focus on getting better. But being home with my family all day has been hard. I feel like no matter how much I do, it is never enough . There is always something else that has to be done or I am behind on. I know a lot of that is bc of my drinking. Even though I hide my drinking, or try to - I know it still slows me down. obviously. But, I drank so I could keep on going, keep on working, keep on getting things done- without it affecting me to much.
Hard to write that. Wish I could make it sound better. I know it's no excuse and Im not looking for one. Just being honest. Committed to facing the music tonight.
Not gonna do it ....