Originally Posted by
JScatt 
Hey everyone! I don't post much but I do read here everyday, still sober since mid May and a lot has to do with this great place.
Anyway, as I read everyday I see a few members who seem to relapse like once a week and each time its for the same reason, same trigger, same excuse and each time they are given great advice by long time sober folks.
Seems each time this advice is ignored and the person is back seeking advice on how to quit, same advice is given again, ignored again then the person is back again asking for advice on how to quit....YET AGAIN!
I've noticed this with some who have been members for years.
I guess my question is...How the heck are some of you guys so patient, when do you (if ever) just say "screw it, do what ya wanna do" especially when you are just repeating the same advice over and over and over?
Fair question Jscatt. I am here primarily because I have a message to carry, and trying to do that keeps me sober.
Sometimes there is a bonus where something I said helps someone else, but I never know who that might be. Let’s say our chronic relapser CRman, keeps coming back following the pattern you describe. All those who follow the thread will see CRman’s example of what doesn’t work but they will also see a lot of useful suggestions from which they might benefit themselves, especially if they relate to CRman’s circumstances.
We don’t all have to recover to be an example to others, sadly. The revolving door is not in perpetual motion, eventually it ceases to admit the individual because they have died.
CRman’s experiences also serve to illustrate the obsession of the mind. Obsession can be a good thing. Without it we may not have airplane, cars, or manned lunar flight. But those obsessive engineers were obsessed with the goal, flying for example. Whenever an experiment went wrong they took what lessons they could from the failure, re-evaluated their approach, and tried something new. They did not repeat unsuccessful experiments hoping for a different result
CRmans problem is that his obsession is that he can solve his problem in the future by doing more of what didn’t work in the past. Plain insanity as it applied to me, doing the same thing in the same way, expecting different results. We hope that CRman will eventually see the truth of his situation and change his strategy, but even if he doesn’t, many other readers will learn a lot from his experience, and the help that is offered.