I was chatting with Mrs Vman this morning and I asked her waht she thought about the danger of wanting to try to help others too much and if Women were more prone to that than men. I was kind of silly because I know she is very characterisitic of that person you described Bim. She finds a "way out" for herself by helping and being preoccupied by others problems or events. She is indeed the listener. The danger is that you get addicted to doing that, i was often told she was co dependant or addicted to me and my problems.
She said to me men probably are less likely to forget about their own problems as easily as a woman
(i said ok)
We stopped talking about that and started talking about where we are at now. Because we are happy.
Since I joined SR in Mar 2016 things have really changed. I changed. We are in a zone we have not been for so long or never were. We have finally overcome the second level of Maslows pyramid of needs. We feel security in a very general sense has been accomplished. Now we are working on the esteem aspects.
We got back some dignity and self respect at last. Feels great.
I dont know if you know any Maslow but its a very simple model but very interesting : ""The first four levels are often referred to as deficiency needs (D-needs), and the top level is known as growth or being needs (B-needs)."
https://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html
Look at the expanded hierarchy of needs : Transcendence needs (helping others)