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A good Pal is a Viet Nam Vet also in his 60s, and is utterly chilled. About the most unflappable Gent you'd ever want to meet. His detached POV is that, say, someone cuts you off in Traffic. The essence is that an Event happened that can be described by a GPS location, and at a digitally-traceable point in Time. That is all. Many Folks will go on to say: 'Gee, I followed that jerk and cut them off in retribution'. And, so on. They will go on to describe how 'inevitable' or 'justified' their knee-jerk response was. Really?
He has none of that. An Event at a describable location and time happened. Any other response or emotion we ascribe to that Event is elective, and can be chosen or controlled with a bit of awareness, and mental training. While I'm no expert at this, I strive for this sort of bemused observation of, and Sober reaction to, Life Events.
This sort of rational decoupling is useful in detaching from purported Triggers, and our AV-driven reaction to them. Dealing with problematic Relatives [as I am right now]. Attending a Wedding Reception. Going to a Concert. Indeed, these lil AV 'blivets' are quite like wanting to cut someone off in Traffic as 'justified retribution'. We ascribe to Events that which we will. Such responses are elective, and ought rightfully to be pondered briefly and relegated to the insignificant status they deserve.
Further, my view is that Recovered Folks display Consciousness of this elevated manner when dealing with Triggers and Stressors; even if they don't yet act on them in this fully-detached manner. I find this awareness useful in evaluating if someone here on SR, or IRL, has the sort of effortless Sobriety I want. Or not. Then, I can apply the Mentor-ship of Recovered, Sober Persons accordingly. I can avoid wasting time emulating some Sober Charlatans who might make all the right motions, but who haven't attained Rational, Sobriety-reinforcing Consciousness. Even after Years in...