Congratulation for the weekender OP MLD.
I love your theme and can very much relate to it.
Especially the "self-esteem» and the damage we do.
My dad died in feburary and I was holding his hand as he fought for his last gasps. My mom was on the other side of the bed. Several times we thought he was gone and he came back for another gasp. The will to live, even dying.
It was a big stress trigger, i didn’t think it was at first but it was. I had been great up to that, 7 months roughly but I lost control for a good few months after that and now Im back. Some things do have a tendency to overwhelm us and its hard to talk about it, or is it or is it just pride, or fear?
As i said my dad fought like a lion for a last few gasps of air. It’s the life wish, its instinct. It’s the most beautiful thing we have, life, its everyday ups and downs, like you say, family, friends, houses, gardens, cars, pets, jobs, money... You just have to stick with it, be conscious of it and enjoy it as much as you can.
My brother went in to rehab on Wednesday morning for three months. He was on the side of the street in the end, lost everything more or less. He never asks for help. He cried when he got to the hospital after my dad died... I think he might be ready to ask for help.
Anyways, I feel like im going off on all kinds of tangents but i don’t mind, my friends don’t judge me. Im almost two months sober again and very happy. I love my life and I get help when things are piling up too fast.
Once again, great OP, and im in for the weekend.
Vinny.