Originally Posted by
rmeatgt350 
I really want to engage and offer helpful advice but if I'm honest im going through some hell right now. I had a terrible day despite dealing with it in what I felt was an effective way. Physically I feel miserable but damn the disease is pulling at me, reminding me it'll be easier if I drink. I'm resisting, reading SR helps a ton. I know drinking won't actually help anything, but it's a tough night!
Ugh, back to day one. Couldn't resist a beer to chill me out. Took one sip and almost dry heaved. I'm not sure which is worse, the drinking or the inability to drink to calm down . It's hard to believe I've done this to myself. More motivation to move forward.