Wow Rose what a day.... It's not your fault... Don't put this guilt on yourself... You did what you thought was right at the time... I also struggle with what I should do... Should I get a divorce? Should I keep on keeping on? It's not an easy decision and you don't have to decide today... You did a good job with detaching yourself... Give yourself a pat on the back... and don't beat yourself up for what you did do... To make you feel better I would of made a huge scene.... I would of kicked my husband in the balls and I would of told the cops off and probably beat up the neighbors wife.... I probably would of rat out my hubby and told the cops he was riding the cycle under the influence and ask to have him arrested... So I must say I give you an A+... Hugs to you!!! Love Clowie