I'm so glad you joined us, Davesnothere. You're in good company. When I first came here, I was so relieved to find out I never had to be alone anymore. We all understand what you're going through. The early days of recovery are rough - but it all gets better & easier as you get some sober time behind you. Life is going to be so much better when you get free.
I agree about the weakness thing - you're anything but weak. You aren't hiding from your problem - you're facing it, & that takes bravery. We're here to listen & help - any time.