Welcome T...your situation strikes a cord with me.
One of mine and my wifes favorite activities was drinking together.
I quit for 18 months a few years back and started drinking again and basically blamed her for it....but it wasnt her fault. It was my decision to pick up again...I bounced back and forth knowing it was killing me and finally drew the line in the sand for myself after a year back into the sauce. Would it be easier on your significant other if you quit with them....YES, but that is your decision to make.
Once I realized as NMD did that I needed to concentrate on me. It became easier on me....Are there some awkward situations where I let her know...I am leaving(name your event or party) I would love for you to come home with me...if you want to stay...that is your choice. She has to deal with that...I love her no less than the day that I said I DO to her....but I am not going to torture myself to try to prove my loyalty. This sounds harsh and heartless...but considering the alternative for me...it is a no brainer. I have a career, family, responsibilities that as an adult I cannot manage as an Active Alcoholic.
Did she resent me at first....yes....but now she understands where drinking takes me and she respects and loves me as I do her.
If you decide to keep drinking...from this recovering Alcoholics perspective. Remember a few guidelines of courtesy...Do not ask him to pick up drinks for you on his way home. Do not send him back to the store for more. That is just a slap in your significant others face. May not seem like a big deal...but it is. Do not start a deep (important) discussion/venting session if you have been drinking. Parties where a lot of drinking is going on....not a good idea....or be prepared to leave when your driver says its time.
All that being said...can it be done...yes...but it takes alot of work and makes it harder for both parties. The one stopping drinking and the one who keeps drinking thinking everything is going to remain basically the same.
I hope this gives you a little incite on your question from the drinkers perspective.
I hope you the best on your journey and pray you give the non drinking a chance....it will change your life for the better.
Peace
D