SAH, you’re not a true loser—you’re just depressed because you drank again.
Comparing to others can be deadly, as you have discovered. Keep in mind that all we see of other people is the side that they want us to see, the side that they think is respectable. Most people are very messy inside. Sometimes the more outer confidence a person exudes, the more secret mess they’re hiding.
Most people are less secure than you think.
Bad situations are made even worse by our drinking.
Dump the rest out, don’t buy more, and get right back on the horse. You were doing very well this past week, and you can do that again, and more.
Maybe make a list of “What Good Qualities I’d Like To Have”. Work on developing them one by one.
Examine yourself throughout the day. When you catch yourself doing something negative to yourself or others, stop yourself and do “the next right thing.”
I recommend joining the September 2017 class here and posting daily. And for you, face-to-face support might be a good idea. Have you tried AA?