IMO, yep.
In 1 word: denial.
Welcome...you're a "weekend warrior".
If you can't stop drinking, you can't control yourself, do cringe worthy things in a blackout and you think your wife may leave you does it really matter that you don't crave a drink upon waking? (Yet, btw, it will come)
I think you know the answer.
The good news is you can quit and save yourself from slipping into total misery. I hope you will. I'd see your doctor, be totally honest, get some withdraw meds if need be and save yourself and your marriage. Both worthy.
GL,
Jules