First of all, Hello, and Welcome to SR!
Honestly, does the label matter? It isn't the label that is potentially ruining your marriage and life. It's the drinking, and something needs to change.
I can relate to you A LOT. I would drink every day, and I would get mean. I recently ruined my relationship with the women I thought I'd spend the rest of my life with....because of drinking, and getting mean, and saying the worst of things. We were in love and had a lot of plans for our future. And I destroyed my future, my life, everything that mattered to me. That's what brought me here.
Bottom line, alcohol is having a negative effect on your life. Why do you drink? What do you gain? Is what you gain worth what you could lose? We can only apologize to the ones we love so many times, words mean nothing. Our actions define us. Your wife needs to see you spend the weekends home with them, waking up early, being the husband and father she fell in love with.
I've come to the conclusion absolute sobriety is what my life has to have. I can't treat people this way anymore, or I will be alone my entire life. I use all the guilt, shame, embarrassment, depression, anxiety, to fuel my sobriety. I have already lost enough, and to see the one women I love walk out of my life, and I have nobody to blame but myself, was(is) heartbreaking.
Don't do this to your family.