Originally Posted by
zenchaser 
Yeah, those thoughts are feelings are absolutely AV and it doesn't matter if they still exist in my mind, what matters is what I do, or rather what I don't do. Sometimes I feel like I'm doing something wrong because the thoughts are still there, not as frequently or with the same sense of urgency or ferocity, but I worry that it means it's not working or something. But of course, that worry is also AV. Anyways, it's cool. Not a big deal. Just thoughts and emotions, can't help those as long as I keep living
By far, the most frustrating aspect to observe in failed attempts at abstinence is what you have described as "feeling like I'm doing something wrong because the thoughts are still there."
While I know you are securely abstinent, similar thoughts completely derail other folks, as we can all read elsewhere around here.
I hate the wasted energy, the frustration, when it is so simply remedied, the misery alleviated.
The thoughts will never go away. No amount of planning activities, begging for attention or meditating will change that. Because those substitutes don't supply the deeply intoxicating, deeply pleasurable effect of alcohol.