Hi Mielz
Welcome to SR. I can relate to your journey as had 3.5 years sober in April last year when I thought it would be ok to drink again. It was just occasionally, then every weekend then a few months ago it was every night. The physical want and the mental obsession were intense. I've tried quitting several times over the last few months but truly committed this time.
It does seem harder each time but that doesn't meant it's unachievable. I'm on day 27 now. You haven't lost all that sober time, you still know how to get and stay sober and can do it again. maybe you need more support?
Have you discussed your marital issues with your husband? Is counselling an option?
Maybe come and join us all in the Septmeber class for people quitting this month.