I have had a very hard day...actually a very hard week but today was just the pits. I really underbooked the theatre list for today, then one patient was supposed to be admitted last night for surgery this morning and they sent for her this morning. So my consultant arrived down and asked why the list was so short? They had done the two kids and the anaesthetists were fed up waiting around and wanted to go home. So I said the lady is on her way up to theatre (and she was supposed to be the big case for today) so he said in future always overbook the lists. That way if there are no adult beds at least they will have kids and day cases to do. I tried to explain as best I could but unfortunately I still get awkward and tongue tied when put on the spot.
My colleagues saw my face I guess and told me not to let this ruin my day. That the consultant should be checking my lists on a weekly basis and tell me to make any changes he wishes. At this point I was ready to hid in the toilet and cry. But I have spent my life hiding in corners feeling bad and I refuse to give anyone the satisfaction of breaking me.
I got an angry call from someone else in relation to something. They told me that the junior doctor from another team called her and was really really nasty to her. Then she in turn was nasty to me. I explained that I had called that ward during the week and asked to speak to whoever was looking after this patient and told them we would be bringing her down for a procedure Friday afternoon. I guess they didn't bother making a note of it as apparently no one had heard of it. I spend my whole working days sending off e-mails and attachements which I guess people just don't bother to open. So what's the point then?
Anyway I was very polite to the person on the phone and she did calm down and apologise. See how the circle of nastiness works? She got yelled at and in turn yelled at me. At least I was nice and broke that circle of badness.
After I got home I realised I forgot to call the ward to tell them about next weeks patients but I did e-mail all the booking forms etc. I cannot spend my whole weekend worrying about this so if anyone calls me next week to yell at me I am just going to say I tried calling Friday afternoon but no one picked up the phone.
I have Monday off as I have to go to the other hospital for a final check up and x-ray on my wrist. I will be queuing for hours and my manager said I have so much annual leave to use I may as well take the day off. Spending the day hanging around won't be much fun but I really really need a break from the consultant I work for, and I guess he probably feels the same. Sometimes its hard to keep the head, spirits and faith up.