Hi Jessicamae, yes, I understand your concept of the Higher Power, it's mine too, Good Orderly Direction is one name for it, I suppose I call it my Conscience, now that I practise AVRT. Was there a time when you drank and there was a little voice inside you, saying that you wanted to stop drinking? I had that voice and it was my conscience, or Higher Brain, cerebral-cortex, not the Lower Brain, or my Beast. I listened to that small voice inside me and after learning AVRT I realised that the small voice was in fact hugely powerful. I made the decision to ignore that louder voice which screamed for alcohol (AV) and rely upon the quieter, yet more powerful inner voice.
I'm too glad you have an open mind, many don't and it's to your absolute credit. I had a nightmarish experience with my first Sponsor, yet fortunately, my second Sponsor was worlds apart, a member for 30 years. It was also fortunate for me (AA wasn't a good fit for me, although it is for many others) that she decided to leave AA, after marrying a neuro-scientist. I then discovered AVRT. We are still in touch, and she hasn't crashed and burned as they predicted, thankfully!
It saddens me that the founder of AVRT decided to abandon the meetings he used to run. I understand the rationale, that he didn't want people to become dependant upon outside sources and instead, to empower and rely upon that source within them. Nonetheless, I believe that meetings for a short duration, to facillitate the learning of AVRT (like Smart Recovery does) would be beneficial.