Nearly got me soooo
Well last night my head was screaming for a drink. I had a bad day a meeting I didn't have any patience with and my son had got in trouble for messing around in school so I got called in. I got to that place of self pity it's all my fault I'm a bad mom I'm hopeless my life is a mess I'm a failure etc etc etc. By 7pm I was obsessing about wine. I got through it I prayed tried to call my sponsor and read on here. I went to bed early and listened to Aa speaker tapes. How ever I'm 3 months nearly and I can't believe I nearly threw it away. I need to re focus. I get so irritable although I'm trying to work my programme. I am so busy with the kids and I feel so isolated as a single mum but why why why would I risk everything for wine. I know because I'm an alcoholic. Still I'm greatful I didn't pick up but it was strong and it played all my defects. God give me protection against this insidious horrible illness. Hate it I honestly do. When will my moods get better and the compulsion leave me. Thanks all for being here I had a close call I tell you